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diaspora

Offline (the 11/25/2015 at 3:04pm) | Search for a member

diaspora

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Tokyo, Japan
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2956
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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diaspora's page activity

Visits<b>mistykitten</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 4:37pm<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 9:59am<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 4:56am<b>caaxo</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 5:37am<b>KabamWolf</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 5:19pm<b>mkrbrox</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:33pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:20pm<b>MrCheeseOnToast</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:42am<b>Kaboom3971</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:46am<b>disgruntledfox</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 11:13pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:55am<b>xanneuhjj</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:53am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:13am<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:26pm<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 11:41pm<b>moulchlo</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:23am<b>smartpants1014</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Kyqk</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:22am

diaspora's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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diaspora's favorite FMLs

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

#21443327
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32370) - you deserved it (5417)

On 07/18/2015 at 1:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML

#21443301
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26920) - you deserved it (2636)

On 07/18/2015 at 12:08am - misc - by River (woman) -

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

#21443162
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (3279)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm - misc - by AK-47 (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

#21431510
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32003) - you deserved it (4687)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

#21430513
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25780) - you deserved it (5617)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:37am - misc - by Arcanin3Boss (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

#21430188
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27260) - you deserved it (3229)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm - love - by Partners (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

#21420621
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32340) - you deserved it (4106)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML

#21416018
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28213) - you deserved it (2778)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:12am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

#21412861
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27434) - you deserved it (4320)

On 05/20/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by KittKatt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got my driver's license. My dad made multiple copies of his insurance cards for me to give to people when I inevitably hit them. Because "Let's face it." FML

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

#21406274
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30282) - you deserved it (2839)

On 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by Random737193 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

#21384188
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29232) - you deserved it (2616)

On 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by noantiquesforme - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36633) - you deserved it (3021)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

#21361029
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37937) - you deserved it (4712)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by bugger -



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