Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

diaspora

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

diaspora

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Tokyo, Japan
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2470
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

diaspora's page activity

Visits<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 4:56am<b>caaxo</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 5:37am<b>KabamWolf</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 5:19pm<b>mkrbrox</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:33pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:20pm<b>MrCheeseOnToast</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:42am<b>Kaboom3971</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:46am<b>disgruntledfox</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 11:13pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:55am<b>xanneuhjj</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:53am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:13am<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:26pm<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 11:41pm<b>moulchlo</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:23am<b>smartpants1014</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Kyqk</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:22am<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 12:23pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 11:00am

diaspora's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of diaspora's badges

diaspora's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

#21430188
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26429) - you deserved it (3140)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm - love - by Partners (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

#21420621
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30570) - you deserved it (3925)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML

#21416018
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (2452)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:12am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

#21412861
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26404) - you deserved it (4166)

On 05/20/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by KittKatt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got my driver's license. My dad made multiple copies of his insurance cards for me to give to people when I inevitably hit them. Because "Let's face it." FML

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

#21406274
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28669) - you deserved it (2504)

On 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by Random737193 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

#21384188
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (2566)

On 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by noantiquesforme - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34315) - you deserved it (2588)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

#21361029
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36665) - you deserved it (4582)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by bugger -

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39154) - you deserved it (6149)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML

#21338134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33014) - you deserved it (3108)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:49am - love - by SilverZephyr - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

#21337152
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30291) - you deserved it (7243)

On 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by imsorry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

#21336880
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30122) - you deserved it (5712)

On 01/14/2015 at 8:58am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32808) - you deserved it (5257)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: