diagonsom

Search for a member

Offline (the 07/21/2016 at 2:44pm)

diagonsom

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 26 June 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2192
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About diagonsom : Just doing this for the badge!

diagonsom's page activity

Visits<b>playhard_1359</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 10:28pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 2:18pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 12:29am<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 9:31pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 11:05am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 3:25am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 11:51pm<b>sawsan_ad</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 9:00pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 7:16pm<b>Jonjon554</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 11:43am<b>PercyD1456</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 11:02pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 9:38pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 7:20pm<b>rwal0912</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 9:10am<b>lpfire61</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 1:41pm<b>nwwaverider</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 6:10pm<b>hunter1019</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 11:22pm<b>onlytimewilltell</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 10:50pm

Fucked!<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 9:26pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 5:05pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 3:37am<b>lpfire61</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 7:41pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 2:25pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 5:33pm<b>mhoch22</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 7:13am<b>aussiecyclist</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:59am<b>Myles132</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:53am<b>jjmack34</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:32am<b>duckman9</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:24am

diagonsom's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of diagonsom's badges

diagonsom's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the dentist; no one was in the waiting room so I danced around and mouthed songs that were on the radio. It wasn't till after I went to the counter and saw the receptionists laughing like a pack of hyenas that I realized there was a camera. FML

by shit / 04/28/2016 at 7:05am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

by Madster15 / 09/15/2013 at 2:05am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm / Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla) / Intimacy

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

by Flora / 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

by zahra_786 / 04/11/2013 at 5:11am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

by cls_x / 02/24/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

by xtammyle / 02/19/2013 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Love

Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 8:18am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

by jay ze punk / 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.