di973

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di973

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  • Number of visits : 1269
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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di973's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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di973's favorite FMLs

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

by anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 9:47am / Austria (Wien) / Transportation

Today, my wife got a new best-friend. It's my ex-wife. FML

by max / 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

by Rachel / 10/23/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

by yus / 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm / United States (California) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

by team hit bella with a car / 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

by oncehipjr / 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 7:46am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

by Diachronic / 09/12/2014 at 4:05am / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

by BagelTheOtaku / 08/20/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Georgia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

by lentmarz / 08/19/2014 at 7:37pm / United States (Idaho) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy