di973

Search for a member

Offline (7 hours ago)

di973

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1702
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

di973's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of di973's badges

di973's favorite FMLs

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

by blueballed / 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy

Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2014 at 12:46pm / United States / Kids

Today, I spent nearly an hour helping a customer pick out an engagement ring. I rang him up, picked out a super cute box for the ring, and wished him luck. Later I realized I never put the ring inside the box. FML

by KilledTheMoment / 11/23/2014 at 1:10am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2014 at 10:37am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

by failure / 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

by smellyhair / 11/02/2014 at 6:28am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML

by limegreengiraffe / 11/01/2014 at 10:06am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

by carless / 10/29/2014 at 11:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

by anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 9:47am / Austria (Wien) / Transportation

Today, my wife got a new best-friend. It's my ex-wife. FML

by max / 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

by Rachel / 10/23/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

by yus / 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm / United States (California) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

by team hit bella with a car / 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

by oncehipjr / 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 7:46am / United States (South Carolina) / Love