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  • Number of visits : 1771
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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di973's FML badges

Consolation prize

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A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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di973's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

by anonymous / 05/05/2015 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me he traded nude pictures I sent him for a costume piece in an internet game. He told me I should be okay with this, because, "It's a rare piece." FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2015 at 9:16am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I asked my classmate to look over my essay. His comments were longer than the essay itself. FML

by englishornah / 04/22/2015 at 10:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss gave me the job of dealing with the guys doing the roofing at our store. His reasoning is that since we're all Hispanic, I'm perfect for the job because "You guys all know each other." FML

by -_- / 04/22/2015 at 11:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

by ThatSlappinBass / 04/17/2015 at 10:00pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I heard my 2-year-old sister crying, so I left my room to comfort her. She looked at me, held my hand, escorted me back to my room and closed the door. FML

by transcendingnerd / 04/13/2015 at 6:46am / Philippines (Manila) / Kids

Today, I started lactating. That would be fine if I had a kid. Or was pregnant. Or wasn't 16. FML

by NotDying / 04/08/2015 at 8:26am / United States (California) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2015 at 6:30am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML

by people suck / 03/28/2015 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Work

Today, after telling my parents that I want to be a vegetarian, I got grounded. Apparently, "black people can't be vegetarians" and, I'm "crazy for even suggesting something like that." FML

by shawnsmuffins / 03/19/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer because he thought I was skipping school. I'm 24 and we graduated high school together. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2015 at 1:01am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML

by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. The first thing he did was hand me a paper containing listed rules he expects me to follow. When I asked if it was a joke, he promptly pointed to number 7 on the list, "Cleanliness is not a joke". FML

by mukduk / 03/16/2015 at 8:26am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while discussing my grades with my mother, she told me that when she was my age she was dumb but hardworking, and my dad was lazy but very smart. She then added, "You managed to get the worst out of each of us." FML

by Daughter of the year / 03/10/2015 at 8:19pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous