di973

Search for a member

Online

di973

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1696
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

di973's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of di973's badges

di973's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, and he asked me to tell him what I wanted him to do. I said I wanted him to make me scream and cum. To which he replied, "Okay, be realistic now". FML

Today, my current boyfriend was so impressed by my blowjob abilities he sent my ex-boyfriend a message saying thanks. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2015 at 12:39am / Intimacy

Today, I had to serve an incredibly rude and irrationally angry customer, but I managed to keep my cool. When he finally went to leave with his purchase, I wished him a good day. He whirled around and yelled "I'll have whatever the fuck kind of day I want, bitch!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 6:23pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

by AK-47 / 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

by AK-47 / 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML

by wantmeasandwich / 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad got so drunk that I had to drive him home. He kept yelling at me to not speed, saying I was going too fast and that there were too many bumps on the road. I hadn't even started the car yet. FML

by AnonymousZOMBIE / 06/25/2015 at 3:23pm / United States (Louisiana) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

by Hey_Buddy_ / 06/10/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

by AdoKitty / 06/10/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

by WellThatWasRude / 05/25/2015 at 2:30am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I was "driving" in a video game. FML

by Paws_Cat / 05/20/2015 at 2:35pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML

by cricketsins / 05/14/2015 at 1:11am / United States / Animals

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML

by flibbertigibbet / 05/07/2015 at 4:56pm / United States (California) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

by anonymous / 05/05/2015 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous