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devil_laugh

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devil_laugh
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  • Number of visits : 738
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

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devil_laugh's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

#483851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125967) - you deserved it (12185)

On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - intimacy - by firsttimer69 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116382) - you deserved it (11401)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

#461201
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132127) - you deserved it (8036)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:40am - intimacy - by cmerr (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131454) - you deserved it (35668)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML

#402387
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (170087) - you deserved it (8207)

On 03/16/2009 at 11:17pm - work - by Dansonn (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML

#381498
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (145132) - you deserved it (19744)

On 03/16/2009 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by gfg (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (167877) - you deserved it (25758)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

#318702
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (157335) - you deserved it (19663)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:44am - money - by stillpoor (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128580) - you deserved it (19247)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

#280083
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133757) - you deserved it (14708)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (220037) - you deserved it (12952)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

#256127
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131868) - you deserved it (5773)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

#251967
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (165281) - you deserved it (9195)

On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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