destinyo_ox

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destinyo_ox

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2451
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About destinyo_ox : DERF.

destinyo_ox's page activity

Visits<b>viciousquirrel</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 10:31pm<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 11:38am<b>Skycop_S</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:55am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:02pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 10:44am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 9:37pm<b>seetei</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:13pm<b>demonddm</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 6:37pm<b>IAmZim</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:17pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:28pm<b>annie917</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:59pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:51am<b>P_Cel_096</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:30am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:33am<b>chocolate_toast</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:50am<b>pandasaresocute</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 1:17pm<b>bllmkjj</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 1:50pm<b>Dyingpie</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 10:53pm

destinyo_ox's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

destinyo_ox's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

by fmjob / 07/21/2009 at 12:39am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

by embarrassed / 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML

by waxinghorror / 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I brought a friend who I have loved for years out to a nice restaurant for dinner. I ordered an expensive bottle of wine, and poured each of us a glass. As I was about to tell her I loved her, she raised her glass for a toast and said "A toast to friendship!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 6:24pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 12:01am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 12:01am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

by the_captain / 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML

by creepedouthostess / 06/17/2009 at 3:12am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

by Failoffel / 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 2:26am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister told my mother how she saw our neighbour's son at the movies with a girl and that they were kissing. My mother said that any girl willing to date someone so ugly must have self esteem issues and they laughed. I'm his girlfriend, my sister didn't recognize me. FML

by ready_set_go / 04/08/2009 at 9:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at a window seat on a bus full of people when I saw a person lying motionless in a gutter. I jumped up, nearly hysterical, screaming for the driver to stop because there was a guy really hurt on the road. An emergency stop and huge commotion ensued. It turned out to be some garbage. FML

by nextstopplz / 04/07/2009 at 4:47am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.