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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2565
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About destinyo_ox : DERF.

destinyo_ox's page activity

Visits<b>viciousquirrel</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 10:31pm<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 11:38am<b>Skycop_S</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:55am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:02pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 10:44am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 9:37pm<b>seetei</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:13pm<b>demonddm</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 6:37pm<b>IAmZim</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:17pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:28pm<b>annie917</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:59pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:51am<b>P_Cel_096</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:30am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:33am<b>chocolate_toast</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:50am<b>pandasaresocute</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 1:17pm<b>bllmkjj</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 1:50pm<b>Dyingpie</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 10:53pm

destinyo_ox's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

destinyo_ox's favorite FMLs

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

by Jen / 11/08/2010 at 10:36pm / Australia / Money

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

by tanya / 10/25/2010 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

by teacher / 08/31/2010 at 10:50am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML

by fmylife / 08/26/2010 at 6:09am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy

Today, I thought it would be funny to moon people out of my friend's car window. I rolled down the window and mooned a random couple. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I had to get out of the car and pick up my phone and wallet, which were in my back pocket. FML

by fullmoonfml / 08/12/2010 at 7:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I lost my anal virginity because my boyfriend "slipped". FML

by anonymous / 06/11/2010 at 12:56am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got called a f***ing b**ch by one of my students. I teach kindergarten. FML

by love_today / 05/29/2010 at 10:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

by bathroomblunder / 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

by Biological / 02/11/2010 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the man I met online was a fake Facebook account, made by my daughter and her friends. FML

by cupcakemonsteryu / 02/08/2010 at 12:21am / Love

Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML

by weddingbells / 01/24/2010 at 8:02pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my mother woke me up at 4:30 A.M. to tell me our dog was running down the street. I ran for an hour, chasing after her. Turns out it was our new neighbor's dog. Ours was in our basement. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2010 at 10:18am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2010 at 6:48am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a large pimple on my temple. I decided to try the whole "put toothpaste on the zit to make it dry up" technique that all the magazines say to do. Not only is my pimple still there, but the toothpaste irritated my skin and my already large pimple now appears three times bigger. FML

by Zit-Blues / 01/04/2010 at 8:50am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss, talking about holiday hours. I had to go to my doctor's appointment, so I said, "G2G, love you" accidentally. Not only did he say it back, but he also requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML

by ohshat / 12/22/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work