desperate

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desperate

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1455
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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desperate's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:53pm<b>pjspelce</b> - the 06/21/2009 at 5:13pm<b>toothpick1234</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 8:35pm<b>Sofa_King</b> - the 04/14/2009 at 4:46pm<b>hopiee</b> - the 04/13/2009 at 4:19pm<b>choppedNskrewed</b> - the 04/05/2009 at 6:53pm<b>karelmart12</b> - the 04/05/2009 at 11:14am<b>amirn86</b> - the 04/04/2009 at 9:06pm<b>ZiggyMorrison</b> - the 04/03/2009 at 9:46pm<b>tehaarontimothy</b> - the 04/03/2009 at 1:09am<b>Panime</b> - the 04/03/2009 at 12:55am<b>omar</b> - the 04/03/2009 at 12:05am<b>MooKee</b> - the 04/02/2009 at 9:06pm<b>Unre4l</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 1:53pm

desperate's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

desperate's favorite FMLs

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML

by Anna / 04/06/2009 at 6:41am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML

by maconda99 / 04/05/2009 at 11:14pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

by jonas_93 / 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

by poo_shoe123 / 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML

by Gen / 12/17/2008 at 4:40am / Love