Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

desperate

Search for a member

desperate
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1190
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

desperate's last visitors

toothpick1234Sofa_Kinghopieeamirn86ZiggyMorrisontehaarontimothyPanimeomarMooKee

desperate's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

desperate's favorite FMLs

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34998) - you deserved it (87253)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML

#831890
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20144) - you deserved it (57681)

On 04/06/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML

#828379
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16564) - you deserved it (57706)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML

#827000
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60934) - you deserved it (4155)

On 04/05/2009 at 11:14pm - work - by maconda99 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

#818669
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58867) - you deserved it (8041)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by jonas_93 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

#726983
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85250) - you deserved it (7117)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227319) - you deserved it (29242)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML

#532
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22123) - you deserved it (7259)

On 12/17/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Gen - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: