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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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desertkitt

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desertkitt
  • Town/Country : Fortuna, US
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 September 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2246
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About desertkitt : Due October 28, 2009. Hoping for a lil Halloween baby! Married to the most amazing man ever to walk the planet... aside from Jesus... lol.

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http://myspace.com/godforgaveme

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desertkitt's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and left a note that said "Please stop singing in the shower. You're terrible, and everyone in the building can hear you." FML

#3528361 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (31034) - you deserved it (9913)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by WhitneyHouston (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML

#3517987 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (9083) - you deserved it (51222)

On 07/06/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Seabiscuit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents booked my 18th birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's. FML

#3338275 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (51035) - you deserved it (5011)

On 06/29/2009 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

#3334132 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (56605) - you deserved it (4880)

On 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm - kids - by dad (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

#3333969 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (37115) - you deserved it (8594)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailor started out with "Most babies are accidents..." right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML

#3295379 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (48107) - you deserved it (3087)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

#3288999 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (37132) - you deserved it (5222)

On 06/27/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by Tonya (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got my hair done, eyebrows waxed, and a new expensive dress to impress my boyfriend. When I got home I asked him if he noticed anything different about me. He looked at me for one minute before asking, "Did you finally start using Proactive?" FML

#3285279 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (33758) - you deserved it (3536)

On 06/27/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by Acneface - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML

#3260741 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (5410) - you deserved it (32711)

On 06/26/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by FailureAtLife121 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my company's calendar is synchronized throughout the whole building. The entire company now knows that I made love to my wife last Wednesday and Friday, and that I went out with a girl named Janet on Saturday. My wife's name is Julie, and she works in the same building. FML

#3256249 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (6134) - you deserved it (99114)

On 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm - work - by Fred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

#2991073 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (10108) - you deserved it (41618)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I let my on-again, off-again boyfriend spend the night. For months we had been fighting about his new flame. After he convinced me that they are no longer an item, we had the most mind-blowing sex then we fell asleep. I awoke to him moaning her name. Followed by pelvic thrusts. FML

#2940444 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (18407) - you deserved it (36732)

On 06/16/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML

#2935606 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (40943) - you deserved it (2557)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML

#2935549 (428)

I agree, your life sucks (33403) - you deserved it (19471)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

#2914098 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (40093) - you deserved it (9664)

On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States