dersand

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Offline (the 08/27/2014 at 3:34am)

dersand

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 May 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1139
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About dersand : Skilrex invited dubstep.
deadmoufive and korn are great dubstep bands.

dersand's page activity

Visits<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 12:07am<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 5:37pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 5:05pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 11:23pm<b>heliraptor</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 11:10pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:09pm<b>ariannaa</b> - the 07/22/2011 at 11:05pm

dersand's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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dersand's favorite FMLs

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 4:17am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML

by myBFsucks / 10/05/2011 at 12:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML

by suze44 / 06/13/2011 at 10:22am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on a first date with a guy who turned out to be twice my age, we were playing video games at the theatre before the movie started. Suddenly he falls face first while having a seizure. The EMT asked if my "dad" had a history of epilepsy. FML

by cbolig / 05/03/2011 at 8:15am / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2011 at 2:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

 Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friends house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said "who's this? stop texting me." FML

by Desperate_measures / 01/16/2010 at 7:22am / Greece (Attiki) / Love

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

by chris / 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss, talking about holiday hours. I had to go to my doctor's appointment, so I said, "G2G, love you" accidentally. Not only did he say it back, but he also requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML

by ohshat / 12/22/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 9:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my best friend's wedding. All my friends and their boyfriends were seated at one table, while I, as the only single girl in the group, was put on a table with all the other single people. They were all over forty years older than me. I feel like I have seen my future. FML

by singlegirl / 11/27/2009 at 1:16pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love

Today, I told the man I've been in love with for 3 years, who also happens to be my boss, how I felt. He responds by filing sexual harassment charges against me. FML

by awwshit / 10/13/2009 at 10:13am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my sister broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years because he hadn't "popped" the question. I've just spent the last 2 months helping him plan the perfect proposal. FML

by Sadtimes / 09/17/2009 at 1:44pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love