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derpies

Offline (the 11/24/2014 at 9:15pm) | Search for a member

derpies

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  • Number of visits : 929
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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derpies's page activity

Visits<b>Squtchy</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:47am<b>Faith13</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 6:29am<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 12:10am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 7:47pm<b>Kiki242</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 5:54am<b>Silent_Thrill</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 11:09pm<b>ShrinkToMySize</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 5:37am<b>Suptnik</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:54pm

derpies's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of derpies's badges

derpies's favorite FMLs

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

#18775724
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26688) - you deserved it (6822)

On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

#18772081
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27304) - you deserved it (3229)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:23am - misc - by RatFailure (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML

#18763355
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36695) - you deserved it (3502)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:52am - love - by Janie (woman) - United States

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

#18763079
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22375) - you deserved it (2049)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:25am - work - by jumbledgirl (woman) - United States

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

#18754752
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30912) - you deserved it (2312)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

#18753577
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31132) - you deserved it (5845)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

#18749585
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17268) - you deserved it (31410)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19972) - you deserved it (39262)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12096) - you deserved it (55713)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad decided that he shouldn't have to wear clothes in the privacy of his own home. FML

#18724307
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27754) - you deserved it (2941)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

#18715469
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28553) - you deserved it (5086)

On 01/05/2012 at 11:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling good about it until I saw the interviewer. It was a guy I had sex with and never called again. He remembered me too. FML

Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level. He told me that he couldn't have sex with me because of his religious beliefs. I would've been fine with this if it weren't for the fact that I know he and his family are all atheists. FML

#18710247
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32654) - you deserved it (4085)

On 01/04/2012 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

#18705736
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26741) - you deserved it (2376)

On 01/04/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to ask my girlfriend to please stop telling me about her ex's penis. FML

#18705552
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45108) - you deserved it (4261)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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