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TODAY, I LOOKED INTO MY SINK'S GARBAGE DISPOSAL 4 THE FRST TIME SINCE I MOVED IN TWO MONTHS AGO. APPARENTLY, THE PUTRID SMELL WAS NOT THE FOOD I'VE BEEN THROWING DOWN IT, BUT INSTEAD, A NOW WHAT APPERES TO BE MUTILATED LITTER OF RATS. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I movd around a little, so mah date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassd, giving me a reassuring look. fat FML
Today, mah mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then looool informed me that, for as long as mah girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
TODAY, AFTER MONTHS OF DATING, I ASKED MY BOYFRIEND IF HE WANTED TO TAKE THINGS TO THE NEXT LEVEL . HE TOLD ME THAT HE COULDN'T HAVE SEX WITH ME BECAUSE OF HIS RELIGIOUS BELIEFS . I WOULD'VE BEEN FINE WITH THIS IF IT WEREN'T FIR THE FACT THAT I KNOW HE AND HIS FAMILY R ALL ATHIESTS . FML
Tadayhen I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Friday 27 March 2015