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derpies

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derpies

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1157
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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derpies's page activity

Visits<b>Squtchy</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:47am<b>Faith13</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 6:29am<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 12:10am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 7:47pm<b>Kiki242</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 5:54am<b>Silent_Thrill</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 11:09pm<b>ShrinkToMySize</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 5:37am<b>Suptnik</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:54pm

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derpies's favorite FMLs

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

#18775724
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27661) - you deserved it (6962)

On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

#18772081
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28520) - you deserved it (3348)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:23am - misc - by RatFailure (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML

#18763355
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36856) - you deserved it (3513)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:52am - love - by Janie (woman) - United States

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

#18763079
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22476) - you deserved it (2056)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:25am - work - by jumbledgirl (woman) - United States

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

#18754752
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31025) - you deserved it (2318)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

#18753577
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32588) - you deserved it (6044)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

#18749585
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17321) - you deserved it (31522)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21199) - you deserved it (40967)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12139) - you deserved it (55852)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad decided that he shouldn't have to wear clothes in the privacy of his own home. FML

#18724307
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27853) - you deserved it (2951)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

#18715469
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (5276)

On 01/05/2012 at 11:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling good about it until I saw the interviewer. It was a guy I had sex with and never called again. He remembered me too. FML

Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level. He told me that he couldn't have sex with me because of his religious beliefs. I would've been fine with this if it weren't for the fact that I know he and his family are all atheists. FML

#18710247
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32784) - you deserved it (4092)

On 01/04/2012 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

#18705736
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26842) - you deserved it (2381)

On 01/04/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to ask my girlfriend to please stop telling me about her ex's penis. FML

#18705552
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46002) - you deserved it (4332)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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