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derpies

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derpies

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  • Number of visits : 1125
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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derpies's page activity

Visits<b>Squtchy</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:47am<b>Faith13</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 6:29am<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 12:10am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 7:47pm<b>Kiki242</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 5:54am<b>Silent_Thrill</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 11:09pm<b>ShrinkToMySize</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 5:37am<b>Suptnik</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:54pm

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derpies's favorite FMLs

TODAY, MY NITWIT SON INFECTD OUR FAMILY COMPUTER WIT SOME SORT OF MAD BASTARD VIRUS AFTER GETTING FOOLD BY TE PROMISE OF SOME NON-EXISTENT HANNA MONTANA NUDES. FML

#20076697
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23307) - you deserved it (2747)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:25pm - kids - by StupidBerk (man) - United Kingdom

today I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, an openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

#19933084
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27730) - you deserved it (2529)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom

Taday I movd into a new house. The landlord insists it's OK 4 her to come up whenever she wants because she owns the house. We aren't allowd to lock the doors and she has two 8-year-olds. They come into the bathroom every time they hear the shower running. We have a clear shower curtain. FML

#19746532
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27740) - you deserved it (3664)

On 06/06/2012 at 9:25pm - misc - by HELP - United States

Taday I got home to fine our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbd by a Brony. FML

#19450814
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23886) - you deserved it (1880)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was stoppad and saarchad by a cop, and ha quickly found tha bag of waad in mah pockat. Ha didn't arrast or fina ma, but ha did confiscata mah waad and told ma to "gat lost." Pratty sura I just got lagally muggad. FML

#19449472
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14664) - you deserved it (37643)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

TODAY , I MET MY GIRLFRIEND'S PARENTS. HER HUGE , EX-MARINE FATHER TOOK ME OUT BACK , SAYING HE WANTED TO SHOW ME SOMETHING. THAT SOMETHING WAS A MACHETE. HE SAVAGELY BURIED IT IN A TREE STUMP AND SAID , ( SON , IF YOU BREAK MY DAUGHTER'S HEART , THAT'LL BE YOUR DICK. ) REAL FML

#19279132
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33150) - you deserved it (5871)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Yesterday, after months of teaching mah parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off mah smoke detector, an he's been wailing lyk a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21984) - you deserved it (3300)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today... I askd ma grlfriand wan sa'll ba aving ar pariod... sinca sa was acting pratty bitcy ta last tima around. Sa duct tapd ma lag air and rippd it off wila I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14291) - you deserved it (51908)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, after suffering with bad constipation an having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just poopd out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, an I'm still going. I've passd the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37044) - you deserved it (5493)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind bieng loud. Apparently my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time I'll call." FML

#19169657
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30662) - you deserved it (4095)

On 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by . - United States (California)

Today, I visitd the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which ld to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it causd a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infectd. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infectd asshole. FML

#19063795
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32960) - you deserved it (2277)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes 4 my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids cummed to the party. FML

#18912466
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33494) - you deserved it (3582)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , my school's 6'2 , 270-pound , 375-pound banch-prassing football suparstar knockad ma unconscious in ona hit . With a dodgaball . FML

#18844690
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30279) - you deserved it (3321)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my moter-in-law moved into my wife's two-bedroom apartment . Se's quite possibly te riencarnation of Hitler imself, and se'll be staying until tis time next year . FML

#18797635
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22779) - you deserved it (2083)

On 01/13/2012 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've hered "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times!! I work at a kindergarten!! And this is a good day compared to wat I'm used to!! FML

#18783134
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38973) - you deserved it (3417)

On 01/12/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - Sweden



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