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denhwyvar's favorite FMLs
by fmlTGOD / 08/24/2011 at 7:34am / United States / Love
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by Jeweler / 06/26/2009 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by aviators / 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
by SLA / 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
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- Today, my mom got a jukebox. She hasn't stopped playing the music on a high volume for the past two… Today, I was disowned by my mother because I asked her to tone it down on Facebook. She flipped out… Today, my girlfriend and I woke up in a frisky mood and after a very quick glance around the house…