demarcusT

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demarcusT

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 910
  • Number of comments : 121
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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demarcusT's page activity

Visits<b>warriorcatjaypaw</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:28pm<b>sherry_berryxoxo</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 1:13am<b>yehyeh</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 2:21pm<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 9:09pm<b>thaliah</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 5:34pm<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 5:49pm<b>sanjayn</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:51pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 7:34am<b>XxOGxX_MaCk</b> - the 01/16/2011 at 10:51am<b>Plumppotato</b> - the 01/16/2011 at 3:35am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:29am<b>sweetpandora</b> - the 11/30/2010 at 10:54pm<b>prinzess</b> - the 11/23/2010 at 9:08am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 10/06/2010 at 6:14pm<b>Blazikengirl</b> - the 09/19/2010 at 12:47pm<b>shilpaaa</b> - the 09/17/2010 at 5:18am<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 09/13/2010 at 6:59pm

demarcusT's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

demarcusT's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2012 at 4:04pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

by rongo12 / 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:45am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, in a large church youth group, we were told to write our current biggest trial on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and throw it in pile. I wrote "My mother's death and having to leave my friends and family." The one I picked up just said "math." FML

by Noslo / 11/09/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML

by Lavalise / 11/05/2011 at 3:11am / France / Transportation

Today, to save money, I bought some meat in bulk. When I got home, I was told that power to the neighborhood was out, and probably would be for days. Rather than let the meat rot, I barbecued it all and gave it away to my neighbors. The power came on while everyone was eating. FML

by SoCalStoopid / 09/09/2011 at 5:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

by asianlover / 06/30/2011 at 3:24am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

by lilben / 06/10/2011 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

by Patrick R / 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

by Username / 06/07/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML

by nicole / 05/27/2011 at 4:52pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I had a panic attack at 2am because someone decided to throw a snowball at my window. FML

by nuerrotticc / 01/06/2011 at 3:58am / Health