deltoramastr

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deltoramastr

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 July 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1353
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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deltoramastr's page activity

Visits<b>wil1029</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 12:00pm<b>nina0917</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 11:45am<b>ThatLobster</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:20pm<b>memememe2</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 10:22pm<b>Dannyboy365</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 7:21pm<b>globsavethequeen</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:14pm<b>andrew_weaver15</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 10:24pm<b>lndala</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 7:59am<b>emmmilyyismee</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 1:04pm<b>Catkam623</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 8:42am<b>_Anonymous_1234</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 4:11am<b>fabdancer95</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 6:42am<b>heartemopants</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 4:54pm

deltoramastr's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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deltoramastr's favorite FMLs

Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML

by notgettingany / 11/24/2010 at 12:18pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:36am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML

by nurse / 11/03/2010 at 8:08am / Reserved / Work

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 3:00am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML

by iprobablyhaveherpes / 10/20/2010 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

by sleepwalker / 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2010 at 7:56pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML

by FavreFan99 / 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML

by notexactly / 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

by Udxero / 09/10/2009 at 3:51am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

by UGH / 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I gathered both mine and my girlfriend's families secretly to a restaurant. I paid the restaurant to play romantic music, and paid for the best table available. As soon as we finished our meal, our families gathered around and I proposed. She laughed and said no way. FML

by gtrs750 / 08/09/2009 at 9:48am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML

by Beefballs / 07/29/2009 at 2:22am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous