Fuckin' epic.
Today, I was giving my crush a lift home from a mutual friend's house. When he got in the car, my mom asked in French, "Is this the guy you won't stop talking about? You can do so much better!" Of all the things I've told about him to my mom, I forgot to mention he's French as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41382) - you totally deserved it (7107)
On 04/27/2009 at 12:43am - love - by frenchgirlll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47247) - you totally deserved it (1531)
On 04/21/2009 at 11:11am - work - by laxguy23 (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51008) - you totally deserved it (2532)
On 04/21/2009 at 9:13am - love - by 5220 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, just after getting off the phone with a girl I am interested in, I parked on campus and decided to eat my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40071) - you totally deserved it (5979)
On 04/21/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by porkieworkie (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I went to a cosmetic dentist and got a chip in my tooth filled in that I’d had since I was 7. I went out later and my friend jokingly hit my head against the table a few times to make fun of me showing off my teeth. He slipped. I fell. I now have 2 chipped teeth and a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40407) - you totally deserved it (5985)
On 04/21/2009 at 6:51am - health - by Chip (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8176) - you totally deserved it (39567)
On 04/20/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by dummy441 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45148) - you totally deserved it (3474)
On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for 2 months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed he says "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I dont pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well technically my fiance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (51740) - you totally deserved it (7296)
On 04/15/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by oops123 - United States (Missouri)
Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11184) - you totally deserved it (44113)
On 04/14/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by khood (man) - United States
Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52148) - you totally deserved it (7644)
On 04/12/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11094) - you totally deserved it (34931)
On 04/11/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by effingawwesome (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, at work, I noticed a spider on a female co-worker's shirt. I gently brushed it off. She accused me of sexual harassment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36692) - you totally deserved it (9657)
On 04/11/2009 at 2:41pm - work - by bdawg923 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67224) - you totally deserved it (2709)
On 03/31/2009 at 6:44am - love - by lizzardbreath (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I asked a boy I like to prom by writing all over his car. After nervously sitting by the phone all day, I decided to go out to get lunch. I found the word "No!" written all over my car. FML
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On 03/30/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by lauren (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, a 7 year old girl randomly came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML
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On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)
