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dekoyer74

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dekoyer74

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  • Number of visits : 164
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dekoyer74's page activity

Visits<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 12:23pm

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dekoyer74's favorite FMLs

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44308) - you deserved it (3343)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

#20849955
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37489) - you deserved it (3260)

On 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm - misc - by thanksad (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55031) - you deserved it (7749)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58056) - you deserved it (8146)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. My dad just looked him dead in the eyes and said, "How much did she pay you? I doubt it was enough." FML

#20723714
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45646) - you deserved it (3462)

On 06/13/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

#20690610
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56761) - you deserved it (7301)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65797) - you deserved it (12643)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32520) - you deserved it (5268)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML

#20569420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36706) - you deserved it (4101)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by aabadaba (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43605) - you deserved it (3231)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41831) - you deserved it (15704)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55813) - you deserved it (14648)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56148) - you deserved it (4520) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39160) - you deserved it (10345)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35616) - you deserved it (4005)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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