About dectivebobby : Legend of Zelda... Enough said.
dectivebobby's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
dectivebobby's favorite FMLs
Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML
by Uwrongfodat / 05/09/2013 at 6:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML
by fml0505 / 05/09/2013 at 2:49am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Screwed Up / 05/09/2013 at 1:30am / United States / Health
by anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Wyoming) / Money
Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML
by Checkless chick / 05/08/2013 at 6:21pm / United States / Money
by anon_1996 / 05/08/2013 at 12:59pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Work
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML
by lalalaisling / 05/08/2013 at 12:21pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
by oops / 05/08/2013 at 10:44am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by HamSandwich12 / 05/08/2013 at 10:17am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML
by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:42am / United States / Health
Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML
by fuckingjesusgran / 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm / Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego) / Transportation
by hopelesscollegechick / 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by hitchcock2013 / 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML
by Marmarfarfar / 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in… Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans… Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of…