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debrisesque

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debrisesque

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  • Number of visits : 1192
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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debrisesque's page activity

Visits<b>CaptainFoxbutt</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 12:24am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:33pm<b>EvilDave</b> - the 10/20/2010 at 3:02pm

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debrisesque's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

#2442070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50534) - you deserved it (7545)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by satanlovesme (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98721) - you deserved it (22679)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

#1681747
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62383) - you deserved it (7211)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

#1018681
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14664) - you deserved it (124772)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

#664071
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132068) - you deserved it (10325)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom told me she spent $760 on "quantum pendants" that "produce scalar energy that helps to enhance the body’s biofield." When I told her she got scammed, she denied it and yelled at me. Best part? She frequently lectures me about how I waste my money and spend irresponsibly. FML

#616286
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60699) - you deserved it (4615)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:06am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

#267368
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23573) - you deserved it (74592)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by theassman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25439) - you deserved it (66168)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

#99945
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75863) - you deserved it (7063)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by not getting any anymore (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML

#98497
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81407) - you deserved it (6238)

On 02/21/2009 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by pchemist (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FML

#7619
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41234) - you deserved it (6789)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by na (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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