deathmajestic

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deathmajestic

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3967
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About deathmajestic : ╔══╦═╦══╦══╦╗ put this on your profile
║║║║═╬╗╔╣══║║ if you love metal
║║║║═╣║║║╔╗║╚╗
╚╩╩╩═╝╚╝╚╝╚╩═╝

deathmajestic's page activity

Visits<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 9:20pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 4:33pm<b>dankmemes710</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 12:06pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 9:39pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 3:30pm<b>whoopydoodah</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:13pm<b>Taylor000</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:14pm<b>sarika</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 3:44am<b>Aixx</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 6:44pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:33pm<b>Allnightampm</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 8:01am<b>S13rra01257</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 2:36pm<b>cheycheythefish</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 5:06pm<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:32pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:40pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:53pm<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:23am<b>ThatOneLoudGuy</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 8:33pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 10:32pm

deathmajestic's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

deathmajestic's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

by CrappyValentine / 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

by freakingow / 02/14/2010 at 1:05pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

by dzisfml / 02/14/2010 at 3:42am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

by Face / 01/09/2010 at 5:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

by WesJaz / 01/08/2010 at 11:35am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I had a rare phone call from my ex-girlfriend. We ended up talking for hours about old times. It was the best conversation we have had in forever, it made me miss her and miss us. Later on in the day, she called back asking what we talked about. She was too high too remember. FML

by CP19JK12KH / 01/03/2010 at 4:56am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I dropped my pencil in Bio and I leaned over to attempt to pick it up. Next thing you know it I tipped the desk over and I crashed onto my crush's lap with my face in his crotch. FML

by colorfulgina / 12/12/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, a repairman woke me up so he could change the filter in my furnace. This would have been fine, except he didn't wake me up until he was already in my room, where I was sleeping naked. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend invited me for dinner to meet his parents. Turns out his stepmother is my gynecologist. FML

by Twiddle / 12/07/2009 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

by jibberish / 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

by jibberish / 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

by nycplywood / 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

by nycplywood / 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

by nycplywood / 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals