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deathdaisy

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deathdaisy
  • Town/Country : needham, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 September 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 724
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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deathdaisy's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

#8972431
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25454) - you deserved it (3461)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by watersport (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because apparently I don't appreciate how he's different from other guys. I only told him that showering once a month was not normal. FML

#8967212
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26902) - you deserved it (3904)

On 03/10/2010 at 7:12am - love - by dumped - United States (Texas)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16236) - you deserved it (1712)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for this sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML

#8938594
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (2116)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:31am - misc - by CreepedOut (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

#8910408
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (1606)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by itsEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6551) - you deserved it (23658)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6551) - you deserved it (23658)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6551) - you deserved it (23658)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21566) - you deserved it (4564)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15644) - you deserved it (8493)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

#8742333
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8158) - you deserved it (33814)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22988) - you deserved it (7375)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. For a 16 year old, it's pretty impressive. It's a shame that I'm a girl though. FML

#8590174
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (2633)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:36pm - misc - by Kay (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML

#8581671
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4729) - you deserved it (58198)

On 02/23/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by nutcracker (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait 5 years for a rink to open in my town, 2 weeks for my lessons to begin, but only 10 minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML

#8300373
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19422) - you deserved it (3481)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:40pm - health - by skatergrrrl (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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