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deathdaisy

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deathdaisy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 861
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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deathdaisy's page activity

Visits<b>FrecklesXO</b> - the 03/29/2010 at 12:12am

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deathdaisy's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

#10761245
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19500) - you deserved it (34573)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48918) - you deserved it (9608)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

#9407867
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34423) - you deserved it (5885)

On 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Haley. - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36748) - you deserved it (2928)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31794) - you deserved it (4589)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40338) - you deserved it (8394)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

#9081770
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28213) - you deserved it (2012)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm - animals - by OhhhNooo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML

#9068483
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10695) - you deserved it (19876)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:50am - misc - by Hatty (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML

#9067691
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33808) - you deserved it (5957)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by Cooky (man) - United Kingdom (Calderdale)

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

#9041294
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32964) - you deserved it (2362)

On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML

#9037172
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26070) - you deserved it (2668)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:14am - love - by botharebad (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

#9015230
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28498) - you deserved it (3088)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20690) - you deserved it (3098)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

#8974087
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8758) - you deserved it (59948)

On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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