Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

deathdaisy

Search for a member

deathdaisy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 877
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

deathdaisy's page activity

Visits<b>FrecklesXO</b> - the 03/29/2010 at 12:12am

deathdaisy's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

deathdaisy's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34185) - you deserved it (7156)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad said that if I walked home from school, a distance of 8 miles, he would give me $50. Two hours and four massive blisters later, I come home. When I asked for my money, he said "I was kidding." FML

#15547053
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36735) - you deserved it (13061)

On 03/29/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by hiker - United States

Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML

#15546142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33078) - you deserved it (4957)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm - misc - by uggo - United States

Today, I decided to mock a few stuck-up runners by effortlessly jumping over the track hurdles. The last one was the easiest. The easiest to crush my balls on, and twist my ankle up in the process. FML

#15542266
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7728) - you deserved it (46136)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

#15538339
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33385) - you deserved it (4811)

On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)

Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective gel case that I just purchased for it... it bounced and fell right into a sidewalk drainage sewer. FML

#15531750
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39722) - you deserved it (5008)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:48pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

#15068596
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26541) - you deserved it (2483)

On 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by peedonme (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I started my community service at the dog pound. I like animals so I thought it would be a good place to do it. As I arrived they were throwing dogs that had been euthanized into a dump truck to be taken to a landfill. That was my job for the day. FML

#15063959
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41040) - you deserved it (5350)

On 02/21/2011 at 10:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

#15057968
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42881) - you deserved it (4489)

On 02/20/2011 at 10:28pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

#15015231
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32406) - you deserved it (2865)

On 02/17/2011 at 11:33am - animals - by Aled (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

#15001986
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29546) - you deserved it (2819)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML

#14987191
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27557) - you deserved it (4469)

On 02/15/2011 at 5:21am - misc - by nakcba -

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46810) - you deserved it (9271)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

#11542106
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (23709)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: