deathcabforkatyy

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deathcabforkatyy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 June 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3138
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About deathcabforkatyy : i enjoy stomping on flowers and kicking puppies.

deathcabforkatyy's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:54pm<b>drainyou123</b> - the 12/07/2009 at 10:50pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 12/01/2009 at 5:02pm<b>_Athena_</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 11:12pm<b>Love_my_soldier</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 2:06pm<b>OhMyGulay</b> - the 05/01/2009 at 9:18pm<b>heytherexo</b> - the 04/16/2009 at 1:24am<b>roll_fukng_tide</b> - the 04/16/2009 at 1:18am<b>Bob13</b> - the 04/14/2009 at 9:05pm<b>Brown5922</b> - the 04/13/2009 at 9:16pm<b>Creat1ve</b> - the 04/05/2009 at 12:52pm<b>craigahh</b> - the 04/05/2009 at 8:29am<b>Chaith</b> - the 04/04/2009 at 8:05pm<b>lame15</b> - the 04/02/2009 at 7:17pm<b>Eladar</b> - the 03/26/2009 at 8:51am<b>so_me</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 11:34am<b>ladeeda</b> - the 03/22/2009 at 9:41pm<b>wow_omg_wtf</b> - the 03/21/2009 at 5:24pm

deathcabforkatyy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

deathcabforkatyy's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

by lucky / 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

by Jenny / 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML

by Donzai / 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

by Hotsauce887 / 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my mom found a box full of stuff she had been looking for. She starts going through it and finds baby pictures of my sister and I as well as pictures of the cats. She puts my baby pictures back in the box and closes the lid. The cat pictures are now hanging in her living room. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 1:38am / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

by badmom / 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

by Spawn_of_Satan / 03/27/2009 at 11:18am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex and I was on top. I was really into it and in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said "oh, look at the time, I gotta get home". She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

by crap / 03/26/2009 at 4:37am / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Intimacy

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

by douchetard / 03/26/2009 at 3:37am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

by proudestmonkey / 03/24/2009 at 1:44am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML

by Rajin / 03/23/2009 at 4:38pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was having lunch with my sister and my mother. While my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "look at this face I can make!" and she grossly contorted her face so that she had a double chin. My mother looked over and said to her, "stop making fun of your sister!" FML

by anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous