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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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deathcabforkatyy

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deathcabforkatyy
  • Town/Country : Autstin TX, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 June 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1038
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About deathcabforkatyy : i enjoy stomping on flowers and kicking puppies.

deathcabforkatyy's last visitors

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deathcabforkatyy's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190 (368)

I agree, your life sucks (111569) - you deserved it (26061)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML

#1547759 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (56408) - you deserved it (6650)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by systeminitiated (man) - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions, then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back my report from the checkup, I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML

#1536104 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (66488) - you deserved it (4183)

On 05/01/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at the awards ceremony at my school, I ended up winning the top achievement award in my grade. The principal spent at least ten minutes talking about my success to the audience, the whole time referring to me as a "he" as I stood right next to him. I'm a girl. FML

#1535605 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (64029) - you deserved it (3406)

On 05/01/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by smartgirl (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs this hobo was peeing. Two seconds before, I told my friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML

#1519871 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (47421) - you deserved it (2082)

On 05/01/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by DudeManBro69 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

#1512569 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (42801) - you deserved it (9331)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went for a hike with the local search and rescue volunteer group that I recently joined. I got lost and spent 5 hours wandering aimlessly. FML

#1510421 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (29652) - you deserved it (10236)

On 04/30/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Wouldntitbeniceif (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I didn't have any money to buy a tampon from the dispenser at my school but my hands are small enough so I can just slide them up and grab one. My hand got stuck in the dispenser and my school had to call the fire department. Now everyone calls me tampon girl. FML

#1493911 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (23361) - you deserved it (47662)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by obeezy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

#1466459 (318)

I agree, your life sucks (13824) - you deserved it (66774)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML

#1423979 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (16123) - you deserved it (43639)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by fuckspellcheck (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML

#1187689 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (45318) - you deserved it (12918)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:52am - misc - by Kaboom (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, just after getting off the phone with a girl I am interested in, I parked on campus and decided to eat my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML

#1187593 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (44704) - you deserved it (6715)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by porkieworkie (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had a substitute teacher for my dance class. I noticed at one point, he took out a camera. The principle came in, everyone was going crazy, and the teacher was dragged out of the classroom. He was taking videos and pictures of us dancing. Turns out he was a registered sex offender. FML

#1163738 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (80166) - you deserved it (2919)

On 04/20/2009 at 7:05pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was at the gynocologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

#1153629 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (59512) - you deserved it (2983)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (84876) - you deserved it (4267)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)