Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

deathartisan

Search for a member

deathartisan

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 April 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 780
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

deathartisan's page activity

Visits<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 11:39pm<b>stj5249</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 8:45am<b>ahd94</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 8:08pm<b>RasTa_FLUFFY</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 11:16pm<b>bbhhhhv</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 3:17am<b>Doom_Shroom</b> - the 04/08/2010 at 1:36pm<b>unibrowicorn</b> - the 04/07/2010 at 11:12am<b>AlliterationAlli</b> - the 03/09/2010 at 4:56pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 03/09/2010 at 3:29pm<b>theluckygirl28</b> - the 03/09/2010 at 12:54pm<b>TooMuchXbox</b> - the 03/09/2010 at 9:18am

deathartisan's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

deathartisan's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML

#9068336
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21832) - you deserved it (11754)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:21am - misc - by Vegetarian (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, while at work, I was told by a man who had literally just gotten back from his mothers funeral to cheer up, I was depressing him. FML

#9063709
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17455) - you deserved it (5210)

On 03/14/2010 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

#8991320
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8862) - you deserved it (46411)

On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I got a call from a police department saying that if I didn't move my car from a store's parking lot within the next 15 minutes, they were going to tow it and charge me for the fee. I was at work and the reason I parked it there is because it started smoking and almost caught fire. FML

#8984403
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17317) - you deserved it (4192)

On 03/10/2010 at 10:03pm - misc - by ohemgee (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML

#8983847
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17870) - you deserved it (3699)

On 03/10/2010 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

#8980623
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30243) - you deserved it (4889)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned not to jump off a stage if nobody is going to catch you. FML

#8941097
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6281) - you deserved it (32685)

On 03/09/2010 at 6:14am - health - by oww - United States (Virginia)

Today, I left my car in a disreputable area. After picking it up later on, I heard a strange "clonking" sound. The clonking suddenly stopped when my wheel fell off; someone had stolen my wheel nuts. FML

#8941077
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19827) - you deserved it (3807)

On 03/09/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by 3-wheeler (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated my chest has become and how she wants to help. Except I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML

#8940307
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33420) - you deserved it (2206)

On 03/09/2010 at 3:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML

#8939744
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21071) - you deserved it (4056)

On 03/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. We had dinner reservations to an expensive restaurant and planned to see a movie after. At least, we did, until he called to tell me he'd volunteered to work tonight. He won't get off until 2am. FML

#8824480
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21251) - you deserved it (3018)

On 03/04/2010 at 3:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

#8822462
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33030) - you deserved it (9058)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24979) - you deserved it (12864)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16601) - you deserved it (41631)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: