![[fr]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15359) - you deserved it (68100)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43152) - you deserved it (2350)
On 09/15/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was first in line at a stoplight. After five minutes, with a line of cars behind me, the light was still red. People behind me started honking, so I decided to just go. Halfway across the way, I was greeted by a camera flash. Nobody else went. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8504) - you deserved it (34211)
On 09/15/2009 at 8:16am - misc - by publicenemy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was hanging out with a guy I liked. We sat in the gardens, me facing the path, him with his back to it. We were in deep conversation when I noticed a dog that looked exactly like mine. Then I looked up and saw a man that looked like my dad. Yes - my parents followed me on a date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39633) - you deserved it (2218)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:30pm - love - by bumblebee (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, my friend and I were at the mall and saw a "Grow Your Own Boyfriend" toy. I remarked that I already had one of those, and she freaked out, very loudly and openly, about me "finally having a boyfriend". I had to embarrassingly explain I meant I had the toy... not an actual boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (3994)
On 09/13/2009 at 7:10pm - love - by CaeliLady (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22621) - you deserved it (8982)
On 09/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by footinmouth (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend while looking at halloween costumes online for this years halloween party and said, "Maybe we could go as Bonnie and Clyde this year." He said, "Maybe we should go as a broken up couple," and hung up on me. He wasn't kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28001) - you deserved it (2369)
On 09/12/2009 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was with my seven year old daughter purchasing my husband a present for his birthday in a few weeks. At the register, in the very long line, I asked her where we could hide his present so he wouldn't find it, she responded loudly with "Hide it in your room! He never goes in there!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24415) - you deserved it (3021)
On 09/12/2009 at 11:31am - kids - by nosexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied "They worked on you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7209) - you deserved it (29331)
On 09/12/2009 at 8:00am - love - by TrainedBF (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31599) - you deserved it (3486)
On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I tried to help a large, elderly nun who had slipped. She was stuck and wedged in on a concrete ramp. So I stood facing her, feet braced against hers, and pulled. Not only did I drop her, but I got a wicked view of her panties and crotch. I'm sure I'm going to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24946) - you deserved it (2730)
On 09/11/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by KarmaGirl (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, it's my birthday. I'm a pastry chef by profession. Not only did my family buy a cake from my bakery, I had to make it myself and inscribe it with 'Happy Birthday Dad'. The worst part is, they asked money from me to pay for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33148) - you deserved it (1657)
On 09/11/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by peter (man) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)
Today, my 11 year old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach wearing a bikini. He said " Wow! Who's that?!" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said " Whats happened?!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28624) - you deserved it (5213)
On 09/10/2009 at 5:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9301) - you deserved it (24894)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, " I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone that day because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29691) - you deserved it (2897)
On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
