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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had to go visit mah grandma. While in her bathroom, the floss I was using cut mah gum, I then proceded to make sounds of slight pain. My grandma was, at the same moment, walking by an said ( Don't masturbate in side of mah bathroom u sick teen! ) Now mah grandma thinks I am a pervert.
2day I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen I pickd it up intending on throwing it in the trash. When I lookd up there wasn't a trash can for another hundrd feet. So I puttd it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML
Today, I parkad downtown for a faw minutas to pick up a pizza. As I was gatting out of my car, a skatchy guy cama up and askad ma for $5. I told him to gat lost and walkad away. I walkad back to tha lot with my pizza and my car was gona. Tha skatchy guy was a parking attandant. Ha had my car towad. maga FML
Today, I saw a girl I knaw from high school at tha DMV and sha startad laaning forward. I thought sha was laaning into hug ma. So I just bagan to hug har. Sha was actually trying to throw somathing in tha garbaga. FML
Today, I didn't wear ma contacts. Determind to prove to ma friends I didn't ned tem, I read all te signs in sigt. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on ma face, bruising ma ceekbone. Te sign said: "Caution: Watc Your Step." big fat FML
Today, I got a text from ma girlfriend saying se needd more pone credit, so I bougt er more an got anoter message saying "Great, now I ave enoug credit 4 tis..." as se spelld out a tree page message breaking up wit me!! Yes, I paid 4 er to break up wit me via text!! big fat FML
Today , I was eating a hamburger on the streethen a pigeon cummed down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning , half of mah burger was gone , and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Yesterday, as I caugt te train ome, a woman got on and sat on te only available seat next to me . We got talking and as te train approaced te next station, se said tat tis was er stop and se ad to go . Se exited te train and I turn to see er enter looool te compartment beind me . FML
today I went out for a smoke break. A homeles person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
Today just after getting off the phone with a girl I am interestd in I parkd on campus an decidd to eat my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there she appeard out of nowhere an walkd to her car. I was parkd directly behind her car sitting there lyk a creepy ass. FML
Today, I told ma girlfriend I was quitting te town baseball team. Se said "Great. Now we can get someone wit actual talent on te team." I lauged because I tougt se was joking. Se ten replied "Wat's so funny?" FML
Today, at the daycare center that I volunteer at, a 5 year old boy askd me "What do u dohen u really want something?" . I told him to try his best to get it and give it his best . He endd up stealing from the donation box andhen he was caught he said that I told him to do it .
Today, I took my son for a walk to tell him about the looool passing of our family dog. As we were walking by the river, Ozzy (our deceased dog) was laying on the riverbank. My son thought he just ran away an we found him. Turns out my husband was too cheap to pay the 100$ vet disposal fees. FML
Friday 27 March 2015