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Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49341) - you deserved it (5948)
On 04/20/2013 at 8:02am - love - by How strange - United States
Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44321) - you deserved it (6206)
On 04/20/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by MaggotMother (woman) - United States
Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20169) - you deserved it (2879)
On 03/20/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
I agree, your life sucks (30255) - you deserved it (4303)
On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States
Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4712) - you deserved it (15396)
On 08/31/2012 at 3:20pm - misc - by bieberyoulittleSHIT (man) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17871) - you deserved it (38123)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34609) - you deserved it (6306)
On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, with the cost of craft supplies that ended in a DIY fail, then a costume and overnight shipping, I have now spent $90 to obtain a $10 hat and vest for my daughter to play a cow in the school Christmas play. She will say "Moo" three times with 5 other cows before leaving the stage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17264) - you deserved it (5227)
On 12/24/2011 at 9:38am - kids - by Broke Mama (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22324) - you deserved it (1624)
On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mother sold my extensive Star Wars collection, and I cried when I found out. I'm 46. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22598) - you deserved it (18570)
On 12/15/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by Oja1 - United States (Montana)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40976) - you deserved it (5770)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22078) - you deserved it (7668)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17653) - you deserved it (3671)
On 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23178) - you deserved it (2031)
On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States
Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22022) - you deserved it (1567)
On 11/24/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by JWhite - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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