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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was smoking in my car and flicked the butt... into the face of a cop on a motorcycle going the other way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8690) - you deserved it (52613)
On 06/13/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was playing paintball when I noticed a 9 year old fat kid sitting and crying on the ground. Thinking he'd fallen and was hurt, I walked over to him. He looks up and shoots me in the face, arm, stomach, and happy sacks area from 4 feet away then runs off. He was not hurt at all, and now everything tastes like paint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39233) - you deserved it (6070)
On 06/09/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Woody - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML
I agree, your life sucks (56416) - you deserved it (5097)
On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was getting my first tattoo done. My parents told me it was a bad idea. My friends' parents told me it was a bad idea. I told them that people get tattoos done all the time and nothing goes wrong. 50 min into the tattoo on my back, the artist says "Oh shit, shit, shit. We can fix this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28000) - you deserved it (39606)
On 05/28/2009 at 2:15pm - misc - by thats_not_good (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, me and my boyfriend were just about to have sex and I was so excited to do it just like the movies. He carried me up and just as he was about to lay me on the bed he sneezed, dropping me at the same time. I hit my head. Now I have 12 stitches where my eyebrow used to be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71427) - you deserved it (6762)
On 03/13/2009 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Misc. (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43843) - you deserved it (8378)
On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39755) - you deserved it (11220)
On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5276) - you deserved it (29205)
On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37813) - you deserved it (6398)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13326) - you deserved it (2442)
On 01/21/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by Daryll - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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