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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, while giving my fiancé a hand-job, my ring got stuck in his pubes. We had to awkwardly get to the kitchen to get scissors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16536) - you deserved it (4721)
On 06/16/2012 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Mega_bug - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14769) - you deserved it (1456)
On 06/13/2012 at 4:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands
Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20707) - you deserved it (7099)
On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21084) - you deserved it (2468)
On 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm - misc - by JohnBlack (man) - United States
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6448) - you deserved it (19878)
On 06/11/2012 at 4:44pm - health - by Ciara (woman) - Ireland (Cork)
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10395) - you deserved it (31253)
On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17532) - you deserved it (3450)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14171) - you deserved it (3222)
On 05/06/2012 at 5:57pm - health - by billiams15 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got tasered by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21789) - you deserved it (1426)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (1554) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10055) - you deserved it (29165)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6404) - you deserved it (38575)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5938) - you deserved it (21327)
On 12/22/2011 at 10:02pm - animals - by steve - United States
Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21431) - you deserved it (3871)
On 08/22/2011 at 10:57am - animals - by rearwindow - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27199) - you deserved it (2045)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Monday 20 May 2013
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