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dcy1192

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dcy1192

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 November 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 290
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dcy1192's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 11:07am<b>SerpentBoy</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 6:48am

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dcy1192's favorite FMLs

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20836) - you deserved it (5950)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7461) - you deserved it (32752)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML

#19851846
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23930) - you deserved it (1811)

On 06/26/2012 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

#19823545
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21895) - you deserved it (6880)

On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42734) - you deserved it (3914)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while giving my fiancé a hand-job, my ring got stuck in his pubes. We had to awkwardly get to the kitchen to get scissors. FML

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML

#19782918
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19571) - you deserved it (2108)

On 06/13/2012 at 4:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

#19775546
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27204) - you deserved it (8170)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML

#19774183
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26717) - you deserved it (3384)

On 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm - misc - by JohnBlack (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML

#19771673
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8250) - you deserved it (29682)

On 06/11/2012 at 4:44pm - health - by Ciara (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13737) - you deserved it (36936)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23304) - you deserved it (4749)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML

#19583210
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18319) - you deserved it (3715)

On 05/06/2012 at 5:57pm - health - by billiams15 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got tasered by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML

#19576269
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27963) - you deserved it (2080)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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