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dcy1192

Offline (the 09/03/2014 at 6:26am) | Search for a member

dcy1192

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 November 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 367
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dcy1192's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 11:07am<b>SerpentBoy</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 6:48am

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It’s in the can

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50 favourites

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dcy1192's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

#19938552
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37266) - you deserved it (4460)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25496) - you deserved it (2861)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33369) - you deserved it (2844)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33464) - you deserved it (4198)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26644) - you deserved it (2993)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18299) - you deserved it (36613)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29912) - you deserved it (3579)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

#19889661
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11724) - you deserved it (26473)

On 07/04/2012 at 5:04am - health - by magicman - United States

Today, I discovered that my wife actually encourages my three year-old son to sleep in our bed, as a buffer against any romantic advances. FML

#19887553
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32294) - you deserved it (3093)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

#19887405
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11018) - you deserved it (33429)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Jenna (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31666) - you deserved it (4923)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33143) - you deserved it (4790)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36535) - you deserved it (1681)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -



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