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dcy1192

Offline (the 09/03/2014 at 6:26am) | Search for a member

dcy1192

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 November 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 344
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dcy1192's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 11:07am<b>SerpentBoy</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 6:48am

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It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

dcy1192's favorite FMLs

Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

#20099119
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21815) - you deserved it (1258)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31469) - you deserved it (4998)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15630) - you deserved it (29291)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23531) - you deserved it (1935)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

#20058701
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18855) - you deserved it (1394)

On 09/05/2012 at 10:06am - health - by needtoscratch (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

#20008924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24853) - you deserved it (2404)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

#19984171
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9404) - you deserved it (33391)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32474) - you deserved it (3261)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

#19979145
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24428) - you deserved it (17200)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

#19959612
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25416) - you deserved it (2952)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10716) - you deserved it (36828)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

#19951695
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20448) - you deserved it (1912)

On 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by TimeForACareerChange (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

#19951439
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6709) - you deserved it (51642)

On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11416) - you deserved it (39234)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21234) - you deserved it (2952)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)



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