About davymac718 : Fucken awesome!
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davymac718's favorite FMLs
Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML
by WeddingWoes / 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by tiredofthis / 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by jlee0000785 / 09/17/2012 at 10:15am / Australia / Love
Today, I went out for lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a couple of months. He seemed to be staring at my chest quite a bit, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Turns out there was still an XL sticker on my shirt. FML
by distracted / 09/16/2012 at 3:00am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Lauraborealous / 09/05/2012 at 2:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
by SLAB_GIRL15 / 08/01/2012 at 3:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by ryanharp2 / 07/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
by memphis201 / 07/26/2012 at 1:20pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 8:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 11:56am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
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