davidtheday

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davidtheday

10Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 March 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 34688
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About davidtheday : Co-host of http://www.somethingplanet.com

And youtube.com/somethingplanet

davidtheday's page activity

Visits<b>Smennant</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 11:26am<b>IIVIMMXV</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 9:13am<b>BlueDinosaurs22</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 1:33pm<b>frankief97</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 2:25pm<b>Daniel_A_Bass</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 2:54pm<b>BanjoCheeseGuy</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 10:14am<b>10220706</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 12:15pm<b>citrusglass</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:59am<b>sabby7</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 1:11am<b>Kapoa</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 10:15am<b>am1717</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 2:25am<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 10:37am<b>itsjayds</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 2:57pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 1:39pm<b>MarkiMoo</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 11:33am<b>QueenBii</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:34am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:46am<b>kyletg09</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:06pm

Fucked!<b>citrusglass</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 3:02pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 1:46pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:12am<b>VinsanityB</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 8:36am<b>pwagner014</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 5:11am<b>awkwardbrunette</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 4:51pm<b>keely617</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 4:40am<b>lampard814</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 7:33pm<b>Princera</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 12:44am

davidtheday's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

davidtheday's favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

by Nick / 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

by Jacky-Boy / 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Work

Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: "Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom". FML

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

by poopshooter101 / 06/30/2009 at 7:53am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turns to me and screams at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play "Let's call the whole thing off." FML

by Chipper / 06/08/2009 at 8:14pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

by Familyskank / 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML

by Jon / 05/04/2009 at 8:46pm / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

by whymommywhy / 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML

by vela9002 / 04/06/2009 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

by 00Evan / 04/05/2009 at 9:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

by Alex / 03/26/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Georgia) / Kids