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davidjr_saldana

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davidjr_saldana
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213404) - you deserved it (35573)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML

#225953
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16822) - you deserved it (55080)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by ToobyFrank - United States (Missouri)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

#112379
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74943) - you deserved it (17329)

On 02/23/2009 at 8:14am - intimacy - by Anonn (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

#79382
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12793) - you deserved it (43176)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by AppoKing (man) - United States (Virginia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

#45949
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34306) - you deserved it (4395)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396
551 comments

I agree, your life sucks (416337) - you deserved it (26644)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



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