davidjr_saldana

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davidjr_saldana

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1602
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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davidjr_saldana's page activity

Visits<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 11:36am<b>Dantheman11246</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 11:04pm<b>Justin1459</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 11:02am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:07am<b>therosalina</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 6:15pm<b>tim_narnimee</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:47pm<b>turtlescape</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 1:10am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:46pm<b>GotItWow</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 3:48pm<b>ravens4life</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 6:54am<b>Empr</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:43pm<b>gabylikescheese</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 5:24am<b>regenerate</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 3:25pm<b>ShrinkToMySize</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 6:28pm<b>luxluxx</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 10:38pm<b>BrianD1121</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 2:21am<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 6:50pm<b>Daschundman</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 10:42am

Fucked!<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 4:36pm

davidjr_saldana's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

davidjr_saldana's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 2:28am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

by Embarressed... / 08/04/2010 at 6:25am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML

by Rowden / 04/26/2010 at 5:58am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

by lalararara / 03/04/2010 at 10:48am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my 25 year old brother ran into my room very excited at 8am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited so I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious he said "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML

by MessyMal / 12/25/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an email. It said "Everyone hates you. We voted." FML

by JustAnotherTina / 12/02/2009 at 10:26am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

by Ignitingmylightsaber / 10/18/2009 at 7:29am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2009 at 5:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were messing around and I always jokingly say "You're adopted, nobody loves you" to everybody. His reply, "That's pretty fucked up, I am adopted." He really was. FML

by tryfailtryget11 / 09/05/2009 at 12:23am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

by poormom / 06/27/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I found a note on my door that said "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked". Later, I found another note that said "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 8:28pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

by hdat / 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML

by Clueless / 05/24/2009 at 1:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

by sucks / 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm / United States / Intimacy