davidjr_saldana

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davidjr_saldana

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1623
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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davidjr_saldana's page activity

Visits<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 11:36am<b>Dantheman11246</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 11:04pm<b>Justin1459</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 11:02am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:07am<b>therosalina</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 6:15pm<b>tim_narnimee</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:47pm<b>turtlescape</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 1:10am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:46pm<b>GotItWow</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 3:48pm<b>ravens4life</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 6:54am<b>Empr</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:43pm<b>gabylikescheese</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 5:24am<b>regenerate</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 3:25pm<b>ShrinkToMySize</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 6:28pm<b>luxluxx</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 10:38pm<b>BrianD1121</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 2:21am<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 6:50pm<b>Daschundman</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 10:42am

Fucked!<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 4:36pm

davidjr_saldana's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

davidjr_saldana's favorite FMLs

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 5:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

by saddened97 / 01/20/2011 at 4:39am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Love

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy

Today, I asked my parents if I had a college fund because I will be going to university in two years. They laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 12:38am / Money

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the OBGYN for my annual, and noticed they now supplied babywipes. After 3 seconds of "cleaning", the intense burning started. Turns out they were antibacterial bleach wipes. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2011 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me "get over it", he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML

by BiteMe14 / 01/07/2011 at 2:10pm / United States / Love

Today, I had the last wedding meeting with my fiancé at our church. Running extremely late from my friends house I failed to notice a small penis drawn on my forehead by my friends when I fell asleep after a party. The priest wasn't too happy and said numerous prayers for me. FML

by Good 2 have friends. / 12/28/2010 at 1:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2010 at 10:39am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Transportation

Today, I woke up late for work, and got sick at work twice; when I got home I discovered I'd paid my cable bill late when I got cut off. When my girlfriend came over, the first thing she said was "Do you know about the graffiti on your car?" FML

by byepolar_bare / 12/19/2010 at 6:29am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

by carson28 / 12/16/2010 at 9:23pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML

by unexpected_failure / 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Miscellaneous