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davidjr_saldana

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davidjr_saldana
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  • Number of visits : 909
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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davidjr_saldana's favorite FMLs

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35989) - you deserved it (22607)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

#14948891
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12836) - you deserved it (57366)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

#14948891
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12836) - you deserved it (57366)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, after a huge heartbreak and a night of crying, I wake up to an empty house. I go in the kitchen to make breakfast and see a note on the counter saying "We heard you crying last night and didn't want to hear you complaining this morning, so we went to the mall. -Mom" FML

#14895293
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35342) - you deserved it (7449)

On 02/08/2011 at 12:21pm - love - by heartbroken - United States

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

#14881052
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8845) - you deserved it (44964)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:47am - health - by Raprotcommander (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38012) - you deserved it (7384)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17540) - you deserved it (62201)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43265) - you deserved it (7642)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

#14669069
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22054) - you deserved it (4808)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

#14669069
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22054) - you deserved it (4808)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out I have a huge infected boil on my vagina. The worst part was that I wasn't the one to discover this. My boyfriend was. FML

#14665942
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28349) - you deserved it (8067)

On 01/21/2011 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by alaskan1989 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

#14658044
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17502) - you deserved it (39229)

On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

#14653951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38373) - you deserved it (3258)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dozed off during a lecture. When I woke up, I didn't recognize any of the people surrounding me, and I saw one guy pointing and laughing at me. It turns out, my professor instructed everyone to let me sleep because he wanted to see how long it would be before I woke up. I was asleep three hours. FML

#14650881
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8534) - you deserved it (26854)

On 01/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)



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