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dav3800's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Kids
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
by cockblocked / 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by Jesse / 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:33pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by roomingwithevil / 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
by aligator1009 / 05/09/2012 at 12:54am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
by A-64 / 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids
by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
by sockmonkey / 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by Elise / 04/28/2012 at 7:36pm / United States / Intimacy
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a… Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked…