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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I askd mah dad if mah girlfriend could sleep over!! He winkd at me an agred!! When I brought her home, we went to mah room fir a quickie!! There, I saw that mah dad had tapd multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing mah girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
Today , I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 an it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details an even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone an said , "That's fab , ma." FML
Today , I want to tha baach. Whila I was anjoying tha sun , an old man with prosthatic lag and no cloths on sat naxt to ma. Ha took off his faka lag and puttad it bahind his haad. Than ha opanad his lags ravaaling his "stuff." I will navar unsaa this. Evar. FML
TODAY , AGAINST MAH WISHES , MAH SON SNUCK OUT OF MAH HOUSE TO GO PARTYING. WHEN HE CUMMED HOME , I CALLED HIM IN SO I COULD PROPERLY DISCIPLINE HIM. WHILE I WAS TALKING , HE STAGGERED TO OUR FISH TANK , PULLED OPEN THE LID , AN VOMITED STRAIGHT INTO IT. FML
Friday 27 March 2015