dav3800

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dav3800

1Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 11241
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dav3800's page activity

Visits<b>Grazelent_90</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 11:07am<b>junjunbun</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 10:39am<b>thatguy3812</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 2:59am<b>kayposion</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 3:08am<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 4:39pm<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:21pm<b>Kitten_love</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:28pm<b>Cavenyanson</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:25am<b>the_fanciest_man</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:50am<b>whenitdidhappen</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:33pm<b>guskta</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:21pm<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:12am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 11:20am<b>Linksavestheday</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 4:37pm<b>boomboom838</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 8:12pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 4:27am<b>seninaa</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:57pm<b>poolguy69</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 10:35pm

Fucked!<b>junjunbun</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:39pm

dav3800's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

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dav3800's favorite FMLs

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

by gonavybeatarmy / 05/31/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

by Aldoch / 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm / Kids

Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML

by wtf / 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

by Terri-Lynn / 05/30/2012 at 4:25pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm / United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The) / Miscellaneous

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 2:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

by cunting cunts / 05/29/2012 at 1:10pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Transportation

Today, I had to get the manager of a grocery store to explain to his employee how coupons work. The employee had refused to accept the coupons I was using, for fear that, "they will be deducted from my paycheck." FML

by brunurb / 05/29/2012 at 7:40am / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML

by sopheeah / 05/29/2012 at 3:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

by notnicefools / 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

by Shianna / 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm / United States / Kids

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 9:24pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

by fuq / 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Miscellaneous