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dav3800

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dav3800

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  • Number of visits : 4018
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dav3800's page activity

Visits<b>the_fanciest_man</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:50am<b>whenitdidhappen</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:33pm<b>guskta</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:21pm<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:12am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 11:20am<b>Linksavestheday</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 4:37pm<b>boomboom838</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 8:12pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 4:27am<b>seninaa</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:57pm<b>poolguy69</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 10:35pm<b>max367</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 11:20pm<b>swick25</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:01pm<b>ashleyyxoxo</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 11:25pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 12:54am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 7:03am<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 10:50pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 7:44pm<b>Adree</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 5:08pm

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dav3800's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37269) - you deserved it (4007)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I received the photos my friend took of me proposing to my girlfriend. I'd proposed at the place we'd first met: the local zoo. When I looked them over, I noticed there was an elephant taking a poop in the background. FML

#19792340
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22874) - you deserved it (3812)

On 06/15/2012 at 1:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29540) - you deserved it (2406)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12135) - you deserved it (25791)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12135) - you deserved it (25791)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49781) - you deserved it (3360)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

#19787973
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6474) - you deserved it (38254)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML

#19787758
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29318) - you deserved it (7830)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by a chick in California - United States (California)

Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML

#19787608
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27155) - you deserved it (2267)

On 06/14/2012 at 3:34pm - health - by ultraattitude - United States

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

#19786786
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24871) - you deserved it (2230)

On 06/14/2012 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

#19786572
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33808) - you deserved it (4014)

On 06/14/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by anonymous - China (Jiangsu)

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

#19786105
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25608) - you deserved it (4412)

On 06/14/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by ouch - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

#19784539
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27952) - you deserved it (6643)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by biggieT - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML

#19783803
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10487) - you deserved it (30187)

On 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Rebecca (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26964) - you deserved it (15771)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)



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