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dav3800

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dav3800
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2423
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dav3800's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML

#19828397
271 comments

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

#19827814
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19076) - you deserved it (2780)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

#19823545
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17567) - you deserved it (920)

On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

#19823545
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17567) - you deserved it (920)

On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27843) - you deserved it (8183)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML

#19812468
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15049) - you deserved it (3106)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States

Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML

#19811574
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20329) - you deserved it (2061)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by StungAlot (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40433) - you deserved it (3683)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (2700)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I was at work when a co-worker decided it would be funny to email me from my boss's computer to tell me I had been laid off. It wasn't funny when I was fired for real after "skipping work without giving notice." FML

#19805072
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25336) - you deserved it (1777)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:39am - work - by Adam Jensen - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my husband has decided to grow a mullet. FML

#19799986
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23862) - you deserved it (2892)

On 06/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by flyingpuppy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML

#19797728
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19306) - you deserved it (2005)

On 06/16/2012 at 4:36pm - misc - by gabby - United States

Today, I trimmed my beard. When I showed my wife, she said, "Yeah, but you still look like a serial killer." FML

#19797072
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18421) - you deserved it (4450)

On 06/16/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Schaf_12 (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my sister called me and asked if my boyfriend of 3 years had proposed to me yet. And now the surprise is ruined. FML

#19796347
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25419) - you deserved it (1885)

On 06/16/2012 at 9:57am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, it was my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted, "You too". FML

#19795247
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22514) - you deserved it (4216)

On 06/16/2012 at 12:58am - love - by thefailwhale (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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