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dav3800

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dav3800
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 822
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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dav3800's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

#16464729
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10750) - you deserved it (23215)

On 06/02/2011 at 6:05am - misc - by ohcrap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I refused to let two students into class because they were 15 minutes late. It turns out they were late because they had gone to buy me a birthday cake. FML

Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML

#16259164
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25238) - you deserved it (4679)

On 05/19/2011 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by rileycrash (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

#16168525
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31170) - you deserved it (11357)

On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States

Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with tic tac. FML

#16129484
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38745) - you deserved it (468)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52436) - you deserved it (3652)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked a coworker if she would cover for me on Easter because I want to spend it with my 3 year old daughter. She said no because she wants to spend Easter with her kids, too. She doesn't have kids. FML

#15899669
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26912) - you deserved it (5082)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:54pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23934) - you deserved it (3219)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML

#15767181
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32399) - you deserved it (6798)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

#15655514
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30820) - you deserved it (3731)

On 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by notacreeper -

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

#15651710
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40502) - you deserved it (3768)

On 04/05/2011 at 2:48pm - love - by PMSL (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML

#15650058
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21478) - you deserved it (4775)

On 04/05/2011 at 11:25am - misc - by why - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38933) - you deserved it (6656)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML

#15284565
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35859) - you deserved it (4474)

On 03/12/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by vlcardenx3 (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37329) - you deserved it (7338)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States



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