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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23348) - you deserved it (6429)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13956) - you deserved it (42166)
On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19071) - you deserved it (1673)
On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23457) - you deserved it (10130)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot whispering "jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (1480)
On 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by lala7 - United States
Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31177) - you deserved it (2512)
On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States
Today, I zoned out in a coffee shop for about two minutes and was brought back to reality when a woman smacked me out of my seat. Apparently I was staring at her chest while zoned out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21590) - you deserved it (4817)
On 08/11/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)
Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30376) - you deserved it (6101)
On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States
Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30376) - you deserved it (6101)
On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States
Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46764) - you deserved it (1909)
On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)
Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18203) - you deserved it (49524)
On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26079) - you deserved it (4776)
On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30443) - you deserved it (6686)
On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28135) - you deserved it (6462)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33075) - you deserved it (2272)
On 07/09/2011 at 3:04am - misc - by JohnyP - United States (Ohio)
Friday 24 May 2013
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