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Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15092) - you deserved it (8039)
On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (1898)
On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (21733)
On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by itshilarious - United States (New York)
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139) - you deserved it (2728)
On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom
Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28086) - you deserved it (1750)
On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States
Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6855) - you deserved it (82033)
On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6713) - you deserved it (47186)
On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States
Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18277) - you deserved it (2146)
On 02/08/2012 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7425) - you deserved it (21899)
On 01/27/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pirsquared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to have a discussion with my 54-year-old mother about showering. She thinks it's perfectly OK to shower only once a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17249) - you deserved it (1907)
On 01/26/2012 at 12:19am - health - by NeedaNosePlug (woman) - United States
Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24853) - you deserved it (1926)
On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)
Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16881) - you deserved it (2732)
On 01/24/2012 at 11:42am - work - by communistgirl (woman) - United States
Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "shit", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19939) - you deserved it (5252)
On 01/23/2012 at 6:26pm - kids - by gloria77 (woman) - United States
Today, my parents boarded the fad wagon and became Juggalos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17247) - you deserved it (332)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by unholy shit (man) - United States
Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24124) - you deserved it (1188)
On 01/22/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Sadfaic (man) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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