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Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18807) - you deserved it (2619)
On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8991) - you deserved it (12951)
On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14386) - you deserved it (1309)
On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (6896)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18561) - you deserved it (1142)
On 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by roomingwithevil - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19376) - you deserved it (1468)
On 05/09/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by aligator1009 - United States
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13498) - you deserved it (6065)
On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19100) - you deserved it (3345)
On 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by A-64 (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)
Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26505) - you deserved it (7177)
On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States
Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8439) - you deserved it (21834)
On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States
Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19730) - you deserved it (2636)
On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6405) - you deserved it (38580)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26645) - you deserved it (6231)
On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States
Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20745) - you deserved it (2101)
On 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15920) - you deserved it (2686)
On 04/28/2012 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Elise - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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