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dav3800

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dav3800
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 831
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dav3800's FML badges

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dav3800's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

#19607657
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18807) - you deserved it (2619)

On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

#19607447
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8991) - you deserved it (12951)

On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14386) - you deserved it (1309)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML

#19603153
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (6896)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

#19599121
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18561) - you deserved it (1142)

On 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by roomingwithevil - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML

#19595886
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19376) - you deserved it (1468)

On 05/09/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by aligator1009 - United States

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

#19594903
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13498) - you deserved it (6065)

On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

#19592995
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19100) - you deserved it (3345)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by A-64 (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26505) - you deserved it (7177)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8439) - you deserved it (21834)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML

#19555770
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19730) - you deserved it (2636)

On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6405) - you deserved it (38580)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

#19547170
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26645) - you deserved it (6231)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States

Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML

#19545026
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20745) - you deserved it (2101)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML

#19543963
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15920) - you deserved it (2686)

On 04/28/2012 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Elise - United States



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