Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dav3800

Search for a member

dav3800

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4629
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dav3800's page activity

Visits<b>the_fanciest_man</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:50am<b>whenitdidhappen</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:33pm<b>guskta</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:21pm<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:12am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 11:20am<b>Linksavestheday</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 4:37pm<b>boomboom838</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 8:12pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 4:27am<b>seninaa</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:57pm<b>poolguy69</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 10:35pm<b>max367</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 11:20pm<b>swick25</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:01pm<b>ashleyyxoxo</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 11:25pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 12:54am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 7:03am<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 10:50pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 7:44pm<b>Adree</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 5:08pm

dav3800's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of dav3800's badges

dav3800's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

#20859311
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53926) - you deserved it (6041)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

#20858957
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (3246)

On 08/29/2013 at 6:44am - love - by sorejecteditmakesmewannacry (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

#20858925
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36033) - you deserved it (2362)

On 08/29/2013 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

#20858870
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36585) - you deserved it (4043)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:39am - misc - by oD_Ronan (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML

#20858539
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48840) - you deserved it (2576)

On 08/28/2013 at 10:21pm - love - by marryinghimanyway (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55974) - you deserved it (4427)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

#20858175
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41204) - you deserved it (3027)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my neighbor's daughter started learning how to play the trombone. FML

#20857611
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41587) - you deserved it (4906)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:33am - kids - by Alice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

#20857270
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53244) - you deserved it (6913)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

#20857055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38184) - you deserved it (7571)

On 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm - misc - by sweetnan (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

#20856004
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36010) - you deserved it (4026)

On 08/27/2013 at 12:36am - kids - by Parenting... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML

#20855277
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42634) - you deserved it (3429)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by ocdistheworst (woman) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: