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Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51907) - you deserved it (4035)
On 04/16/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by fucklife - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35619) - you deserved it (3011)
On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86398) - you deserved it (3209)
On 04/15/2013 at 3:37am - misc - by OPhere (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55018) - you deserved it (3081)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States
Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29879) - you deserved it (2861)
On 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by no tea parties here, gran (man) - United States
Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31911) - you deserved it (2593)
On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38371) - you deserved it (5545)
On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States
Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54597) - you deserved it (7608)
On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31460) - you deserved it (1686)
On 04/05/2013 at 12:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24859) - you deserved it (3221)
On 04/05/2013 at 7:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39936) - you deserved it (12040)
On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40648) - you deserved it (2711)
On 04/04/2013 at 11:12am - misc - by NotASize0 (woman) - Denmark
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50636) - you deserved it (10758)
On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30121) - you deserved it (16993)
On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60567) - you deserved it (5773)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Monday 20 May 2013
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