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50 favourites
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50 quality responses
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Mobility
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Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (1938)
On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14734) - you deserved it (26715)
On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21249) - you deserved it (1396)
On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)
Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20429) - you deserved it (3784)
On 05/31/2012 at 2:50am - love - by Getmeout (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25596) - you deserved it (3683)
On 05/31/2012 at 1:28am - misc - by gonavybeatarmy - United States (California)
Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23296) - you deserved it (3060) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm - kids - by Aldoch -
Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13993) - you deserved it (1444)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15476) - you deserved it (3170)
On 05/30/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by Terri-Lynn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17721) - you deserved it (2031)
On 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17569) - you deserved it (1436)
On 05/29/2012 at 2:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12594) - you deserved it (2033)
On 05/29/2012 at 1:10pm - misc - by cunting cunts (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)
Today, I had to get the manager of a grocery store to explain to his employee how coupons work. The employee had refused to accept the coupons I was using, for fear that, "they will be deducted from my paycheck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16022) - you deserved it (1194)
On 05/29/2012 at 7:40am - money - by brunurb (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17526) - you deserved it (1744)
On 05/29/2012 at 3:54am - health - by sopheeah - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27025) - you deserved it (1299)
On 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by notnicefools - United States (California)
Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13125) - you deserved it (8321)
On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)
Monday 17 June 2013
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